How are you?

Not a so random question…just wanted to know how your day has been, really.

Lately, I’ve been really tired to the point of exhaustion. And surprisingly, it goes to all aspect: physically, emotionally, mentally. I’m under meds (again) for my asthma and some supplements to restore my immune system. I’m just thankful I wasn’t admitted –it will cost more money. I’ve been crying a lot lately as well – life matters. And mentally, my mind just wants to shut off. I’m in no crisis, it’s just an indication that I really need a vacation.

This kind of exhaustion brings me to a point of just wanting to sleep for a really long time. Music can’t even save me and calm me now. I want to shut the world off, not know anything, not be updated, no nothing.  But hey, I’m wanting the impossible.

Anyway, I hate to admit this but for some reason I’m irritated with you (Changsub). There is/are reason/s but I DON’T KNOW WHAT. No idea. Moola. Everything you do irks me. Even your new skin color! Your 4D antics no longer funny. Well, what’s wrong with me?

This happened after the issue you guys had/or still having. It’s some shizz you know, fans “wanting” to own you boys. It closed the door for us international fans wanting to see you upclose and give our gifts directly, and hope for a second of small talk. It closed the doors for us to have such moments and forever lasting memories. Too selfish of them. And that’s one reason why I often get to leave a fandom (not completely though). Selfish fans.

I shouldn’t be really affected, you’re the one I support not them…but it is indeed tiring to have this kinds of drama in a fandom. I started and followed you boys since you make me smile and have fun…but no more of that for now. I just wish I can have that reason back. I still love you all, pursing the supports planned for you all… but I hope in the end I’d still think this is all worth it. I

SIGH. I’m into Block B as of the moment. Listening to their songs, to which I should have done early on their fandom. No dramas for now.

I know some would think my thoughts don’t matter. But I think every Melody matters. Because as long as there is one Melody who believes in BTOB, I know they’ll continue to push on.

I’m still a Melody.  A tired-noona-MELODY. That is.


I honestly don’t know what’s been happening with you guys for the past week or so. I was just told that it was about sasaeng fans and all? If there is more, I don’t know.  Sighs.

And as much as I want to know/search what’s really bothering you boys, I’d rather not. It’s not that I don’t care…it’s better this way. It’ll just bring me emotional stress without really knowing the real reason why. Rumors or not, I’m sorry but I just won’t bother. I’d rather not be the one to comment, so this would just hopefully stop soon. I’ll just spam you guys with love and stupid things to make you smile.

But yes, I'm worried. :)

I don’t know how much this “problem” is affecting you all but listen to your millions of fans: WE ARE HERE SUPPORTING YA’LL.

 Well, this kind of things are inevitable -  and it would really depend on you attitude on how you going to handle such. It goes for both artists and fans. I guess just get something to learn from it and be better.

Anyway, I just miss you all. We have something brewing up for you boys. I’m helping out kids to prepare something for you and I hope this goes well.
Sharing you a song I've been listening to for the past few days. I know it's got a mellow beat - I'm into calming my self anyways, health wise. i posted my thoughts and feels for this in FB : Just one of the few songs where I tend to get lost in the music. Just one of the few when I wish time would stop and music never ends. Sucked in a trance state for a few minutes - felt like an eternity of calmed bliss. ONLY EPIK HIGH can do this to me.
You take care of yourselves now. Be healthy. 
Dear BTOB,

How you been guys? I feel like I’m writing to a friend.

Anyway, I've been distracted for the past month because I was one of the  organizers for the YG Family Convention here in the Philippines. You see, I'm one of the admin staff for Epik Hgih Philippines and them being under YG, of course, we get to be a part of the said convention.

It was really fun though we had to make it in less than a month. 2 weeks to be exact if it’s gonna be the complete preparations. I got sick prior to that event, facing the computer for I was the pre-prod handler, mainly the communications for concessionaires and performers and contestants. I got less and less sleep because of that. I can't miss important emails...

And wow, the money that I have been keeping for a concert -  dished it out. I had to borrow from my own savings and my friends (thank God they're there).

...and the events day. Our role was everyone - we were the organizers, runners, produciton, and marshals even.

But you know what it was all worth it. JUST WORTH IT. AND I HAVE HIGH RESPECT TO THE YGFAMCON STAFF. J

One, finally knowing that the Epik High PH staff can handle the booth on their own, not that I don't trust them but getting to be the one handling the booth always was just (hard to let go?). We had fun at the booth though I only get to visit them when I try to rest from my tasks.

Two, getting to experience firsthand handling events. There were lots of cons- I'll say the time of preparations was limited and we were short of manpower and money but we were able to pull it off. Now, I know how it really feels, effin tiring, nerve-wracking and plain crazy but I HAD one of THE MOST FUN DAY of my LIFE.

Third, it was YG. I was a big BigBang fan to start with these kpop fandoms. I was a VIP and I'd still I still am.

Fourth, the feedbacks were all awesome. That's what we wanted and needed to hear. And we thank everyone wo made it posibble. From the organizers to those who were a part of the program and to all attendees. DAEBAK!

So what's my point aside from telling you this?


I have MAD respect for YG but I would love to have a CUBE DAY too!

Something to show you, beast, 4minute and PAPA HONG that PHILIPPINES EXISTS! LOL.

I want to see cover groups for BToB and Beast. I need my CUBE feels. I'm jsut praying this will push through. And everyone would work and will see the FUTURE EFFECTS for this as well. If they can ALL also be as excited and hard workers like the YG Family convention staffs. :)

I'm thinking positive for this. SIGH. PRAY WITH US BTOB. LOL

Anyway, I love you boys and I miss you. Keep Healthy and SAFE! OKAY?!

That’s it for an update. Don’t hurry with the comeback. Let me breathe first.


I MISS YOU BTOB and I just don't know how to get back on track with ya'll. I was busy with organizing a convention...i hope soon it'll be about you and the cube artists convention next. I'll update my fanfic bout ya'll..though the title's about my changsub- hyunsik seemed like the main character. LOL

anyway, just passing by.
Please help me raise money just by simply clicking this > LOVE < That's it. THANKS!

sheotako, Born to Beat, B to B, btob, minhyuk, peniel, ilhoon, hyunsik, changsub, eunkwang, sungjae, rappers