Three nights and four days…

I woke up with severe stomach ache, passed out, and woke up again super dizzy and chilling and other stuffs. Luckily my brother was there and our neighbors were able to bring me to the hospital. Nothing wrong with all those blood tests and more tests but the doctors took into account that my body made involuntary things when I passed out, and since nobody saw it, we cannot verify I had seizures but it’s the only possibility.

I’m to be discharged later and will do cranial MRI and EEG as an outpatient. Right now, I’m thankful to God I’m alive.

My body had already screamed its tired but I willed my mind to do more. I did work overtimes (pre-shifts and post-shifts), still met up with friends and more. Mind over body works but our bodies could still betray us and shut down automatically.

My bad. But. I needed the money. Bad.

I need to pacify my family and treat myself to my expensive vice, KPop concerts.

It’s my only way to relieve stress.

I won’t promise I will stop doing overtime but I will lessen it.

*

Anyway, I haven’t celebrated dear Changsub’s birthday. I even moved the date with my friends to Sunday, so just I can get a bit of a rest but I’m spending time here at the hospital already.

At the least I had a cup of Happy Lemon on Feb. 26. But I was extremely looking forward to cheesecakes, Frostings’s cupcakes and Chef Noodle’s noodle…badly. I ended up porridge, banana, and apple every meal. I cheat though; the doctor didn’t really hold back my diet.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY  CHANGSUB. 
Be more crazy.

Stay healthy and remember to love what you’re doing because it’ll always reflect withal things you’re doing.


It’s Peniel’s birthday soon. Then BToB’s anniversary.

More reason to get well already.        

      
*

Thanks for the link Yan. I’m a BigBang fan and HaruHaru’s a fave song.

 
 
KISS ME DARLING BABY~~~

Setting the mood right since I haven’t updated this page for…seems like forever. And I’m just excited to let my thoughts out about our boys.

I missed them. I’m missing them.

February’s just an awesome BTOB month and their comeback was just on the right timing. Personally, my February’s heavy (financially and work related shizz), so I’m thanking BToB for these new songs.

So, how is the Love Month also my BToB’s month? *It’s my POV*

THREE THINGS. I was able to finally see them perform live last February 2; the COMEBACK MINI ALBUM; and my bias’s Birthday. YUP, starting the year right with BToB.

I haven’t finished my fan account when they were here for the DKFC2 concert, and I think I won’t be able to finish it. Well, bits and pieces, I remember I called a friend, crying, when I finally saw them in the flesh while we were welcoming them at the airport. I got to fully see Ilhoon, Minhyuk and Changsub. I laughed when I remembered how much we want to pinch Ilhoon’s face—yes, its pinch-able. No special moments for me but it was more than enough. Two years of waiting was too long. Then I was just in frenzy during the concert night, they were first up to perform and I was all over the place, literally, running back and forth. I was with Des first, and when the VCR came up showing them I was screaming. I think I surprised the bouncer in front of me.

I was in a good distance, not too near, but not far. In a span of 30-minutes (or less), many things had happened. I was singing, taking them all in. Looking for Changsub but was too excited and checking them all out. I can’t help but stare at Minhyuk, he caught my attention at the airport, he was just too gorgeous and we can’t deny he has this certain charms that would just pull you in… it was his eyes. Yeah, his eyes. Though Sungjae was the one who attracted non-Melodies the most. Then, we also had a friend to whom we ask a favor of taking pictures of Peniel for the site, she didn’t know who was Peniel and again, me and Arian were all over the place, hugging, fangirling. It was really funny that she had to ask a stranger who Peniel was until we were at her side again.

I was just a happy and proud noona-fan. Seeing my boys for the first time with my Melody friends was just the cherry on top. And our other friends (non-melodies) were greeting and telling us how good they were ~ PROUD MAMAS. :P

I haven’t gotten over them yet but here comes the comeback album… and it’s a first for me being impatient. They released snippets and teasers…but I want the full songs already.

And what got us really excited was the album track lists. Team One Sound (still a fan on One Way), the boys a part of writing the lyrics, the division, the song titles…

We have expectations as well, like having more HEOTA than Minhyuk and Peniel having more lines. But we never doubt that it’s going to be another great album, though Press Play was a benchmark for me.

So, here comes the MV release and the tracks uploaded illegally. I LOVE IT.

I was supposed to be taking advantage of my off-the-phone time and get some sleep since we were just in a transition but also having an access in our office WI-FI made me choose to spazz quietly. Yep, I was restraining myself since I have my workmates sleeping around me. 

Well, the girls in the MV didn’t bother me. It was funny how people reacted to it, I understand their point but I don’t know, the girls in the background were…just a part of the background. Remember Minhyuk kissing a girl in Irresistible Lips? That’s some lip-lock action right there. While these girls, it was obvious they’re just gonna be partying around them. And cmon, BToB are boys~ it’s gross seeing men dancing behind them doing those sexy dances really (pun intended!). Anyway…

I don’t really see ‘new’ images but they all look FRESH. I love Changsub’s permed hair. Their vocal parts were really nice, specially the high notes, damn my Changsub’s notes. Minhyuk, that kid was H to the O. T. one. HEOTA baby in it. Sungjae, did really looked like InGook. And man, Eunkwang – tell me why you so becoming handsome?

The boys seemed like they had fun in the MV and I so wanted BTS. I know they’ve released it already but I can’t find time to watch yet.

AND SO, the ALBUM…can’t you make a full one yet?

I love all the songs but my top ones are HELLO and HELLO MELLO. Too much fun and energy in it. 

When I heard the first few notes of HELLO, I knew I’m in-love with it. I’d also love to hear the demo from Peter and Sky. It’s just too giddy and no kidding when I say it lifts my mood in an instant.

As per HELLO MELLO *singing the lines now* - my jaw hurts for smiling too much. Hello *hello* Hello *hello* Mello… I’m getting more and more used to Ilhoon’s style of rapping, the tone of his voice is just unique. I mean since TOP (BigBang), the deep voice had been a trend but there were just too much artist now. It seemed like they’re automatically the rappers for having low voices. Well, as for the THREE RAPPERS of BToB, they’re all different. Give it few more years, Ilhoon will be one of the top recognized rapper in K-Pop. He’s being led to that direction anyway. 

Minhyuk, Heota, Minhyuk – he’s comfortable in this field. He’s an MC, not just a rapper. Enough said.

PENIEL. DEAR PENIEL. You making noona giddy with those LINES. Yes, yanji-noona was right, it was CHEESY but sweet. And it was nice hearing you having more lines dear.

BTOB is just one of the few artist that can make me cry. And with that MELODY song, thank you for playing with my emotions again.

The whole album was just worth the wait and I hope the boys get more recognition. We can’t deny how talented the BTOB members are and how perfect they all seemed to be in group.

I’m just glad their back.

***Thinking of making a BTOB STARTER Part ii…I’m not sure if the first one helped some but I’m thinking of making this new one to help and coax my non-Melody friends to give BToB a shot in their playlist. I’m confident with my boys.

 
 
I was bitter? I don’t know the correct term but I was just sad and relieved at the same time. I joined this contest where I can win flight tix, accommodations, and concert tickets for Sonic Bang happening in Thailand. All I wanted was to see Epik High perform live. For too many reasons: August is Epik High Philippines 3rd Anniversary, this is Epik High’s 10th year anniversary, my only chance to see them since I can’t risk being denied for a Korean visa again this year, and I…just want to finally see them.

Work load has been eating me, my stress level just way up high…I can’t resign, I don’t have any means of living and fangirling. J

Anyway, I did my best. And the best thing I did was trying. Trying hard even if I fail. And failing too many times---well it hurts but it makes me think things and be strong.

But still it hurts.

I appreciate the people who actually helped me by liking my entry and sharing it to their friends. I even have one friend who do cover acts , who doesn’t really do fansigns for his supporters, but did it anyway to help me raise ‘LIKE’ points. He even asks for update. I appreciated it. Even the cheering comments, it boosts me. Thankful for everyone.

But aside from ‘popularity’, there goes creativity and dedication~ that part, well, I only learned the exact mechanics when I received the confirmation email for my entry. Well, I worked for it—with everyone’s help. It was sleepless nights when I was supposed to be resting because I was on sick leave. See, there is only one winner per country. And here in the Philippines, there’s two of us fighting hard for that spot unlike the other countries...

Then a couple of weeks of waiting for the result, then Channel [V]’s fanpage just disappeared, and I’ve been checking my email all day, every day. Hoping for any confirmation – may it be good news or not so good one.

I was hoping. I was against a fan of Jason Mraz, well, she got ahead since she posted sooner. And I honestly love her entries. BUT. I so wanted to tell her about me being a fan of Epik High…it might be the only chance I will get to see Epik High. Jason Mraz always comes here in the Philippines…*DEEP SIGH*

Then came yesterday. I doubt they’d be announcing winner this weekend – last chance would be on Monday. BUT I learned through a friend that there are already winners. I know the girl who won in Singapore, we have a common friend, and they finally told me she was already contacted. I’m happy for her: SHE’S AN EPIK HIGH FAN.

And I’m assuming, the Jason Mraz girl fan won. 

Yeah, it hurts. This was the same feeling I had when my Visa for Korea was denied. Damn. My reason for going to Korean with a friend last March was to celebrate BtoB’s first anniversary there…but yeah, declined. AND NOW not being able to see Epik High…just DAMN.

If people only knew the worries I got in me because I’m too f***ed up with work.

Still, I dunno…Imma be okay. Give it a week and ice cream and random shoe buying. YES. I’ll be fine maybe after August 25 and not opening my SNS account for 2 weeks. Yes…

Oh well, this song still made me smile, as always. The only uplifting song in Tablo’s Fever’s End album…just being positive against the bullshit happening. 

ALL THE LOVE AND PEACE. THANK YOU FOR BREATHING.
 
 
My day was just extremely~~~ mind tiring. I’m still having a hard time sleeping, then almost afraid of eating with anything oily when those were the only food at home (almost collapsed from eating oatmeal only), then I’m into sending entry after entry for Channel [V]’s contest to see Epik High live in Bangkok, then gone out for my ‘diet’ grocery list – good thing I had dinner with a friend/it’s nice to see familiar faces -, then when I was on my way home I read some sad news for an international site I’m handling for my most fave group, then I have too many stuffs to do with an event for YG fanclubs, then some more for SJ, then….wow… I need to breathe.

Anyway, I was in tears while I was on the jeepney ride back home. I felt like losing family when I read that news. It’s quite sad---hopefully this can end well. If it can’t be fixed—I just hope we all part ways in good terms. We supported the same group after all. We knew that group long before people supported them, and even judged them badly at first. Anyway, I’m not making sense. I was just devastated. YUP.

Then it hit me --- I wonder how you boys cope up with this kind of situation? At that moment, I didn’t have someone to talk to, good thing I had this song recently added on my playlist. Mighty Mouth always makes me smile with their upbeat songs. Just wanted to share it to you.., hopefully not but just incase somebody feels the way I’m feeling right now-enjoy Mighty Mouth.

Love yah BTOB!

 
 
I honestly missed you Changsub. Just because…

This was perfect. Nothing fancy, simply effortless. Proud to be a Changsub bias, baby. You’re worth the CRAY FEELS I have as a noona fan.

Anyway keep it up. AND! I hope you got that goodies already. Get fat. Stay well. HWAITING!

And use that pain killer ointment something. It’s from your OMEGAs. CLEAR?

 
 
HEY, ITS MINHYUK FEELS FOR THREE DAYS NOW.  IT WAS BECAUSE OF THE SONGS BELOW. I JUST CAN'T GET ENOUGH LISTENING TO THE WHOLE OTOKAZE PLAYLIST AND FOR SOME REASON THE SAMPLERS HERE WERE THE ONES THAT REALLY GOT ME LOST IN HIS MUSIC AND (NOT SO) SURPRISINGLY THINK OF MINHYUK.


MINHYUK LIKES HIPHOP (OBVIOUSLY) AND I THINK YAN IS RIGHT, WE SAGGIS (SAGITTARIUS) KNOWS WHAT OTHER SAGGIS LIKE, INSTINCT, NATURALLY. I DON'T EXACTLY THINK HE'D LOVE THESE BUT I REALLY FEEL HE WON'T HATE IT. OR I'M JUST THINKING HE SUITS IT... ANYWAY, THE BEATS MADE ME THINK OF THE KID.


I'M STILL WONDERING WHY MINHYUK WASN'T MY BIAS. HE FITS ALL DESCRIPTIONS WHEN IT COMES TO MY KPOP BIASES. I WONDER WHY I WAS SO HOOKED WITH CHANGSUB (WHEN HE ONLY GIVES ME SEVERE HEADACHE AND SECOND HAND EMBARRASSMENT [IN A GOOD WAY]).


OH WELL, THAT DOES NOT MATTER NOW. BUT IT JUST GOT ME ~~~ I CELEBRATE MY ONE YEAR AS A FULL PLEDGE MELODY THIS MONTH AND THE FIRST ONE I REALLY FOLLOWED WAS MINHYUK. MAYBE I'M JUST GOING BACK TO THE ROOTS. 


ALL THE LOVE FOR BTOB!



I BADLY WANT A COPY OF OTOKAZE'S ALBUM...I'LL FIGURE OUT HOW TO GET ONE SOON.
 
 
So, here was the convo yesterday afternoon. We've been waiting for Peniel's song cover and I'm just glad he did a Verbal Jint...and it's just right that he did it with Sungjae, knowing Verbal Jint's featuring were always the soulful ones (if not hiphop with artists).
I wasn't able to watch it yesterday and even early this morning (2AM), my internet connection was acting up. Anyway, as soon as I had it up~ checked a few notifications and messages, the video was on buffer...

and then...
It was heart clecnching, heart breaking, gut busting, mixed emotions reaction.

Hearing our dear Peniel rap, full length~ was just A to the yo-some. He rarely gets the chance to do so~ so it's a moment. Though, there were misses? But not that obvious! He reminds me of Nelly, doing the stop-note thing...there's someone he reminds me of so much also, but I can't still figure out who. And it's a good thing, 'cause he is his own..our PENTASTIC PENIEL. English to Korean to English. He sounds comfortable now. PROUD OF OUR PENIEL.

BUT...

Sungjae. Not again. He got me on his first note. That kid's eyes were the highlight, the emotions were flawless. And his voice, was so clear and neat. So young and still have a long way to run.

Damn boys, you made me sad. Though the song is for positivity ~ if i'm your girl, I'd be more than lucky. But hey!I ain't dreaming of that~ I just so wanted to be your noona. FYI.

Won't say much now, I'm just savoring this awesome gift from you. Can't wait for the others. Minhyuk~ can you do Epik High? Leesang? Dynamic Duo? OH! A SUPREME TEAM COVER!

:)
 
 
How are you?

Not a so random question…just wanted to know how your day has been, really.

Lately, I’ve been really tired to the point of exhaustion. And surprisingly, it goes to all aspect: physically, emotionally, mentally. I’m under meds (again) for my asthma and some supplements to restore my immune system. I’m just thankful I wasn’t admitted –it will cost more money. I’ve been crying a lot lately as well – life matters. And mentally, my mind just wants to shut off. I’m in no crisis, it’s just an indication that I really need a vacation.

This kind of exhaustion brings me to a point of just wanting to sleep for a really long time. Music can’t even save me and calm me now. I want to shut the world off, not know anything, not be updated, no nothing.  But hey, I’m wanting the impossible.

Anyway, I hate to admit this but for some reason I’m irritated with you (Changsub). There is/are reason/s but I DON’T KNOW WHAT. No idea. Moola. Everything you do irks me. Even your new skin color! Your 4D antics no longer funny. Well, what’s wrong with me?

This happened after the issue you guys had/or still having. It’s some shizz you know, fans “wanting” to own you boys. It closed the door for us international fans wanting to see you upclose and give our gifts directly, and hope for a second of small talk. It closed the doors for us to have such moments and forever lasting memories. Too selfish of them. And that’s one reason why I often get to leave a fandom (not completely though). Selfish fans.

I shouldn’t be really affected, you’re the one I support not them…but it is indeed tiring to have this kinds of drama in a fandom. I started and followed you boys since you make me smile and have fun…but no more of that for now. I just wish I can have that reason back. I still love you all, pursing the supports planned for you all… but I hope in the end I’d still think this is all worth it. I

SIGH. I’m into Block B as of the moment. Listening to their songs, to which I should have done early on their fandom. No dramas for now.

I know some would think my thoughts don’t matter. But I think every Melody matters. Because as long as there is one Melody who believes in BTOB, I know they’ll continue to push on.

I’m still a Melody.  A tired-noona-MELODY. That is.

AND AN OMEGA. I AM ALPHA’s OMEGA!

 
 
I honestly don’t know what’s been happening with you guys for the past week or so. I was just told that it was about sasaeng fans and all? If there is more, I don’t know.  Sighs.

And as much as I want to know/search what’s really bothering you boys, I’d rather not. It’s not that I don’t care…it’s better this way. It’ll just bring me emotional stress without really knowing the real reason why. Rumors or not, I’m sorry but I just won’t bother. I’d rather not be the one to comment, so this would just hopefully stop soon. I’ll just spam you guys with love and stupid things to make you smile.

But yes, I'm worried. :)

I don’t know how much this “problem” is affecting you all but listen to your millions of fans: WE ARE HERE SUPPORTING YA’LL.

 Well, this kind of things are inevitable -  and it would really depend on you attitude on how you going to handle such. It goes for both artists and fans. I guess just get something to learn from it and be better.

Anyway, I just miss you all. We have something brewing up for you boys. I’m helping out kids to prepare something for you and I hope this goes well.
Sharing you a song I've been listening to for the past few days. I know it's got a mellow beat - I'm into calming my self anyways, health wise. i posted my thoughts and feels for this in FB : Just one of the few songs where I tend to get lost in the music. Just one of the few when I wish time would stop and music never ends. Sucked in a trance state for a few minutes - felt like an eternity of calmed bliss. ONLY EPIK HIGH can do this to me.
You take care of yourselves now. Be healthy. 
 
 
Dear BTOB,

How you been guys? I feel like I’m writing to a friend.

Anyway, I've been distracted for the past month because I was one of the  organizers for the YG Family Convention here in the Philippines. You see, I'm one of the admin staff for Epik Hgih Philippines and them being under YG, of course, we get to be a part of the said convention.

It was really fun though we had to make it in less than a month. 2 weeks to be exact if it’s gonna be the complete preparations. I got sick prior to that event, facing the computer for I was the pre-prod handler, mainly the communications for concessionaires and performers and contestants. I got less and less sleep because of that. I can't miss important emails...

And wow, the money that I have been keeping for a concert -  dished it out. I had to borrow from my own savings and my friends (thank God they're there).

...and the events day. Our role was everyone - we were the organizers, runners, produciton, and marshals even.

But you know what it was all worth it. JUST WORTH IT. AND I HAVE HIGH RESPECT TO THE YGFAMCON STAFF. J

One, finally knowing that the Epik High PH staff can handle the booth on their own, not that I don't trust them but getting to be the one handling the booth always was just (hard to let go?). We had fun at the booth though I only get to visit them when I try to rest from my tasks.

Two, getting to experience firsthand handling events. There were lots of cons- I'll say the time of preparations was limited and we were short of manpower and money but we were able to pull it off. Now, I know how it really feels, effin tiring, nerve-wracking and plain crazy but I HAD one of THE MOST FUN DAY of my LIFE.

Third, it was YG. I was a big BigBang fan to start with these kpop fandoms. I was a VIP and I'd still I still am.

Fourth, the feedbacks were all awesome. That's what we wanted and needed to hear. And we thank everyone wo made it posibble. From the organizers to those who were a part of the program and to all attendees. DAEBAK!

So what's my point aside from telling you this?

I NEED UNITED CUBE/CUBE UNITED CONVETION TOO!

I have MAD respect for YG but I would love to have a CUBE DAY too!

Something to show you, beast, 4minute and PAPA HONG that PHILIPPINES EXISTS! LOL.

I want to see cover groups for BToB and Beast. I need my CUBE feels. I'm jsut praying this will push through. And everyone would work and will see the FUTURE EFFECTS for this as well. If they can ALL also be as excited and hard workers like the YG Family convention staffs. :)

I'm thinking positive for this. SIGH. PRAY WITH US BTOB. LOL

Anyway, I love you boys and I miss you. Keep Healthy and SAFE! OKAY?!

That’s it for an update. Don’t hurry with the comeback. Let me breathe first.

LOVE, NOONA ME

 

sheotako, Born to Beat, B to B, btob, minhyuk, peniel, ilhoon, hyunsik, changsub, eunkwang, sungjae, rappers