Three nights and four days…

I woke up with severe stomach ache, passed out, and woke up again super dizzy and chilling and other stuffs. Luckily my brother was there and our neighbors were able to bring me to the hospital. Nothing wrong with all those blood tests and more tests but the doctors took into account that my body made involuntary things when I passed out, and since nobody saw it, we cannot verify I had seizures but it’s the only possibility.

I’m to be discharged later and will do cranial MRI and EEG as an outpatient. Right now, I’m thankful to God I’m alive.

My body had already screamed its tired but I willed my mind to do more. I did work overtimes (pre-shifts and post-shifts), still met up with friends and more. Mind over body works but our bodies could still betray us and shut down automatically.

My bad. But. I needed the money. Bad.

I need to pacify my family and treat myself to my expensive vice, KPop concerts.

It’s my only way to relieve stress.

I won’t promise I will stop doing overtime but I will lessen it.


Anyway, I haven’t celebrated dear Changsub’s birthday. I even moved the date with my friends to Sunday, so just I can get a bit of a rest but I’m spending time here at the hospital already.

At the least I had a cup of Happy Lemon on Feb. 26. But I was extremely looking forward to cheesecakes, Frostings’s cupcakes and Chef Noodle’s noodle…badly. I ended up porridge, banana, and apple every meal. I cheat though; the doctor didn’t really hold back my diet.

Be more crazy.

Stay healthy and remember to love what you’re doing because it’ll always reflect withal things you’re doing.

It’s Peniel’s birthday soon. Then BToB’s anniversary.

More reason to get well already.        


Thanks for the link Yan. I’m a BigBang fan and HaruHaru’s a fave song.


Setting the mood right since I haven’t updated this page for…seems like forever. And I’m just excited to let my thoughts out about our boys.

I missed them. I’m missing them.

February’s just an awesome BTOB month and their comeback was just on the right timing. Personally, my February’s heavy (financially and work related shizz), so I’m thanking BToB for these new songs.

So, how is the Love Month also my BToB’s month? *It’s my POV*

THREE THINGS. I was able to finally see them perform live last February 2; the COMEBACK MINI ALBUM; and my bias’s Birthday. YUP, starting the year right with BToB.

I haven’t finished my fan account when they were here for the DKFC2 concert, and I think I won’t be able to finish it. Well, bits and pieces, I remember I called a friend, crying, when I finally saw them in the flesh while we were welcoming them at the airport. I got to fully see Ilhoon, Minhyuk and Changsub. I laughed when I remembered how much we want to pinch Ilhoon’s face—yes, its pinch-able. No special moments for me but it was more than enough. Two years of waiting was too long. Then I was just in frenzy during the concert night, they were first up to perform and I was all over the place, literally, running back and forth. I was with Des first, and when the VCR came up showing them I was screaming. I think I surprised the bouncer in front of me.

I was in a good distance, not too near, but not far. In a span of 30-minutes (or less), many things had happened. I was singing, taking them all in. Looking for Changsub but was too excited and checking them all out. I can’t help but stare at Minhyuk, he caught my attention at the airport, he was just too gorgeous and we can’t deny he has this certain charms that would just pull you in… it was his eyes. Yeah, his eyes. Though Sungjae was the one who attracted non-Melodies the most. Then, we also had a friend to whom we ask a favor of taking pictures of Peniel for the site, she didn’t know who was Peniel and again, me and Arian were all over the place, hugging, fangirling. It was really funny that she had to ask a stranger who Peniel was until we were at her side again.

I was just a happy and proud noona-fan. Seeing my boys for the first time with my Melody friends was just the cherry on top. And our other friends (non-melodies) were greeting and telling us how good they were ~ PROUD MAMAS. :P

I haven’t gotten over them yet but here comes the comeback album… and it’s a first for me being impatient. They released snippets and teasers…but I want the full songs already.

And what got us really excited was the album track lists. Team One Sound (still a fan on One Way), the boys a part of writing the lyrics, the division, the song titles…

We have expectations as well, like having more HEOTA than Minhyuk and Peniel having more lines. But we never doubt that it’s going to be another great album, though Press Play was a benchmark for me.

So, here comes the MV release and the tracks uploaded illegally. I LOVE IT.

I was supposed to be taking advantage of my off-the-phone time and get some sleep since we were just in a transition but also having an access in our office WI-FI made me choose to spazz quietly. Yep, I was restraining myself since I have my workmates sleeping around me. 

Well, the girls in the MV didn’t bother me. It was funny how people reacted to it, I understand their point but I don’t know, the girls in the background were…just a part of the background. Remember Minhyuk kissing a girl in Irresistible Lips? That’s some lip-lock action right there. While these girls, it was obvious they’re just gonna be partying around them. And cmon, BToB are boys~ it’s gross seeing men dancing behind them doing those sexy dances really (pun intended!). Anyway…

I don’t really see ‘new’ images but they all look FRESH. I love Changsub’s permed hair. Their vocal parts were really nice, specially the high notes, damn my Changsub’s notes. Minhyuk, that kid was H to the O. T. one. HEOTA baby in it. Sungjae, did really looked like InGook. And man, Eunkwang – tell me why you so becoming handsome?

The boys seemed like they had fun in the MV and I so wanted BTS. I know they’ve released it already but I can’t find time to watch yet.

AND SO, the ALBUM…can’t you make a full one yet?

I love all the songs but my top ones are HELLO and HELLO MELLO. Too much fun and energy in it. 

When I heard the first few notes of HELLO, I knew I’m in-love with it. I’d also love to hear the demo from Peter and Sky. It’s just too giddy and no kidding when I say it lifts my mood in an instant.

As per HELLO MELLO *singing the lines now* - my jaw hurts for smiling too much. Hello *hello* Hello *hello* Mello… I’m getting more and more used to Ilhoon’s style of rapping, the tone of his voice is just unique. I mean since TOP (BigBang), the deep voice had been a trend but there were just too much artist now. It seemed like they’re automatically the rappers for having low voices. Well, as for the THREE RAPPERS of BToB, they’re all different. Give it few more years, Ilhoon will be one of the top recognized rapper in K-Pop. He’s being led to that direction anyway. 

Minhyuk, Heota, Minhyuk – he’s comfortable in this field. He’s an MC, not just a rapper. Enough said.

PENIEL. DEAR PENIEL. You making noona giddy with those LINES. Yes, yanji-noona was right, it was CHEESY but sweet. And it was nice hearing you having more lines dear.

BTOB is just one of the few artist that can make me cry. And with that MELODY song, thank you for playing with my emotions again.

The whole album was just worth the wait and I hope the boys get more recognition. We can’t deny how talented the BTOB members are and how perfect they all seemed to be in group.

I’m just glad their back.

***Thinking of making a BTOB STARTER Part ii…I’m not sure if the first one helped some but I’m thinking of making this new one to help and coax my non-Melody friends to give BToB a shot in their playlist. I’m confident with my boys.

My day was just extremely~~~ mind tiring. I’m still having a hard time sleeping, then almost afraid of eating with anything oily when those were the only food at home (almost collapsed from eating oatmeal only), then I’m into sending entry after entry for Channel [V]’s contest to see Epik High live in Bangkok, then gone out for my ‘diet’ grocery list – good thing I had dinner with a friend/it’s nice to see familiar faces -, then when I was on my way home I read some sad news for an international site I’m handling for my most fave group, then I have too many stuffs to do with an event for YG fanclubs, then some more for SJ, then….wow… I need to breathe.

Anyway, I was in tears while I was on the jeepney ride back home. I felt like losing family when I read that news. It’s quite sad---hopefully this can end well. If it can’t be fixed—I just hope we all part ways in good terms. We supported the same group after all. We knew that group long before people supported them, and even judged them badly at first. Anyway, I’m not making sense. I was just devastated. YUP.

Then it hit me --- I wonder how you boys cope up with this kind of situation? At that moment, I didn’t have someone to talk to, good thing I had this song recently added on my playlist. Mighty Mouth always makes me smile with their upbeat songs. Just wanted to share it to you.., hopefully not but just incase somebody feels the way I’m feeling right now-enjoy Mighty Mouth.

Love yah BTOB!

I honestly missed you Changsub. Just because…

This was perfect. Nothing fancy, simply effortless. Proud to be a Changsub bias, baby. You’re worth the CRAY FEELS I have as a noona fan.

Anyway keep it up. AND! I hope you got that goodies already. Get fat. Stay well. HWAITING!

And use that pain killer ointment something. It’s from your OMEGAs. CLEAR?

I honestly don’t know what’s been happening with you guys for the past week or so. I was just told that it was about sasaeng fans and all? If there is more, I don’t know.  Sighs.

And as much as I want to know/search what’s really bothering you boys, I’d rather not. It’s not that I don’t care…it’s better this way. It’ll just bring me emotional stress without really knowing the real reason why. Rumors or not, I’m sorry but I just won’t bother. I’d rather not be the one to comment, so this would just hopefully stop soon. I’ll just spam you guys with love and stupid things to make you smile.

But yes, I'm worried. :)

I don’t know how much this “problem” is affecting you all but listen to your millions of fans: WE ARE HERE SUPPORTING YA’LL.

 Well, this kind of things are inevitable -  and it would really depend on you attitude on how you going to handle such. It goes for both artists and fans. I guess just get something to learn from it and be better.

Anyway, I just miss you all. We have something brewing up for you boys. I’m helping out kids to prepare something for you and I hope this goes well.
Sharing you a song I've been listening to for the past few days. I know it's got a mellow beat - I'm into calming my self anyways, health wise. i posted my thoughts and feels for this in FB : Just one of the few songs where I tend to get lost in the music. Just one of the few when I wish time would stop and music never ends. Sucked in a trance state for a few minutes - felt like an eternity of calmed bliss. ONLY EPIK HIGH can do this to me.
You take care of yourselves now. Be healthy. 
I thought Changsub's done...but he's not. I'm writing this entry and he's still tweeting. Thanks to googletrans for hints and ideas but his selcas were more important for me. 

I haven't opened my @sheotako twitter account for sometime, then it's you welcoming back. Love You boy. Lately, I've been so tired and right now Im going to sleep taking your pictures in my dreams. LOLs and thank you for updating today. i was busy with my birthday boy hyukjae yesterday :)

You have a great day dearest.  Have fun and keep on inspiring. 
THANKS TO @keumbeum0816 for the translation of his tweets. I really appreciate all the Changsub bias people out there!
1st tweet: I have returned!
2nd tweet: everyone wake up! You need to go to school! *laser eyes
3rd tweet: I'm sending a picture so u can open ur eyes / / / 4th tweet: I lied
5th tweet: I lied about lying. my eyes look tired
6th tweet: Taiwan melodies! Did u sleep well? U will get to see us soon.
DENIED. VISA was denied. It rang in me but then was able to let it go immediately. I don't feel any frustrations and shizz but "SAYANG" since I should be travelling with one of my bestfriends in KPop. Oh Well. Not yet the time, I guess. But I could have appreciated it more if they  gave a complete deet on why I was denied. Denied to enter the land of my boys. LOL. 

My purpose of entry: tour/watch a concert
Here was the reason why I was denied: You failed to prove strong economic and family ties to the home country.

Sorry, I wasn't rich enough or my kind of job ain't stable? LOL
It's sad not to see you (BTOB) for your First Anniversary. The past year was really nice. Knowing you boys, making me happy...sigh. Anyway, I would still want to see you this year. I don't know how or where but I'll try to make a way for you to come here in the Philippines. I'm serious about it.

Please be good to your Arian-noona (@urB2TYfulMelody). She's gonna be travelling alone and got gifts for you. Especially for Peniel! You lucky kid! And as for Changsub...I don't have the will to get you my gift for now. Next time, I will though. I really wanted to hand it personally. 


Arian was the one who brought me into your fandom, treat her nice or I'd rob a bank, go there and scold ya'll. :) 
Anyway, it's a bit sad but I'm just glad the tension of waiting for that VISA was over and done. I'll be more that prepared next time. OR JUST FREAKING COME HERE OR SOMEWHERE THAT DOESN'T REQUIRE VISAs AND TELL IT LIKE 4 MONTHS PRIOR SO I CAN GET DISCOUNTS. *Breathes*

I love ya'll. Happy First Year MY BToB.

And this song really ended my sad feelings. Changsub Saranghae!

Be Alright

I'll just freaking see you SOON! YOU BABO!YOU CHANGSUB! MY CHANGSUB!
AN:  This would be better expressed in my own language but there’s a tinge of hope that BToB will stumble in this blog and Peniel would have the kindest of the kindest heart to read and translate this for Changsub. One can hope. AND  for the record, I am a CHANGSUB bias and I love BToB, so please don’t twist my words when I praise Changsub so much. Again. I LOVE BToB.
Good question. Well… you know… Changsub is… 몰라.

He’s special. Literally, figuratively…your pick. He’s someone unexpected but I’m thankful for now.  You see, I’m into genius rappers, strong jaw lines, fierce eyes… and Changsub’s nowhere near that in one look. FIRST LOOK!

I should be into Minhyuk or any of the three rappers, I was at first though, didn’t really have one person to stan but Changsub started to grow on me. Awww. He got me here. Not on this picture really but when a friend said he has tattoo. One can be a bad boy.
DON'T GET DEFEATED FROM YOUR SELF. What we think his tatts says.
And of course his crazy antics, being a 4D, and whatever effin stuffs he does with his mouth. Yes, I'm fixated with his mouth. Thousands of  ******* thoughts I want to do with that.
Those lips. I’m fixated with it. His fault.
Let me eat my words. My  Changsub can definitely RAP. Freestyle. AND Sorry for ignoring you at first Changsub. :')
Nonsense freestyle Rap: MTV DIARY CUT
Anyway, on a serious note, Changsub is someone worthy of one’s time. I can spend hours getting to know more about him. BUT you cannot make me sign up on any café’s…it gives me headache.

Changsub’s really talented and I can feel how serious he is with his profession. He’s born to perform and it shows how fun and different he is on stage. Listening/watching to his pre-debut perfs was interesting, his voice was so much deeper before. I’m being for real when I say he’s really good and fascinating to watch but well, his looks. Not the typical “idol” type but Koreans work wonders. 

Some of Changsub Pre-debut perf list:
It's just that he radiates his passion with his every performance and I'm just sucked and stuck with him now. He can SING, RAP, DANCE and be crazy without really caring much about his look. 

Still, I can’t help but be worried. Maybe he still has those insecurity issues but him being 4D covers it up good. There were some vids I got to watch and I just want to warp beside him, pull him into a hug and whisper “You’re doing great.” ---that’s how emotional I am when it comes to people I adore.

There could be hundreds or thousands of reasons why I like Changsub. Maybe a bit of a cliche..but I don't care now.  Liking him is not just because of his tattoo, or his randomness, his freestyle raps which says his really smart, his 4Dness... I like him because he keeps me happy. I hate and love whatever he does at the same time. He's irritatingly adorable when he has his own world on their shows, he's confusingly sexy when he dance even though he ruins some with his pouts, and more... he's SPECIAL AND INTERESTING. I'll end here for now.

YA! 바보! 사랑해요!
What's with you that I'm constantly hooked up? What's with you that I always come back feeling guilty for liking someone else? What's with you that it'so hard to just share you even with friends? What's with you really?
LOL. Dont' take it seriously though. 

But I'm a serious supporter of you and BToB. Not just another fan and no way am I be a part of the bandwagon. Just live your dream and i'll be here supporting.

I would really wish to meet ya'll soon someday. I wish I could directly hand you the stuffs I'm working hard for. I wish to hug you once or even just shake your hand, but i'll go for the first one. 

I wish you health. happiness. success. love.

And I'll be forever a noona-fan, ready to protect ya'll boys.

fr: sHEOTAko
source: @codebravo_
We are meant to be another time another life
Possibly, probably you would be mine
Can you get away, get away, can you get away
I wanna go go where you are

been away over the weekend and i missed you so much. :)

sheotako, Born to Beat, B to B, btob, minhyuk, peniel, ilhoon, hyunsik, changsub, eunkwang, sungjae, rappers