I was bitter? I don’t know the correct term but I was just sad and relieved at the same time. I joined this contest where I can win flight tix, accommodations, and concert tickets for Sonic Bang happening in Thailand. All I wanted was to see Epik High perform live. For too many reasons: August is Epik High Philippines 3rd Anniversary, this is Epik High’s 10th year anniversary, my only chance to see them since I can’t risk being denied for a Korean visa again this year, and I…just want to finally see them.

Work load has been eating me, my stress level just way up high…I can’t resign, I don’t have any means of living and fangirling. J

Anyway, I did my best. And the best thing I did was trying. Trying hard even if I fail. And failing too many times---well it hurts but it makes me think things and be strong.

But still it hurts.

I appreciate the people who actually helped me by liking my entry and sharing it to their friends. I even have one friend who do cover acts , who doesn’t really do fansigns for his supporters, but did it anyway to help me raise ‘LIKE’ points. He even asks for update. I appreciated it. Even the cheering comments, it boosts me. Thankful for everyone.

But aside from ‘popularity’, there goes creativity and dedication~ that part, well, I only learned the exact mechanics when I received the confirmation email for my entry. Well, I worked for it—with everyone’s help. It was sleepless nights when I was supposed to be resting because I was on sick leave. See, there is only one winner per country. And here in the Philippines, there’s two of us fighting hard for that spot unlike the other countries...

Then a couple of weeks of waiting for the result, then Channel [V]’s fanpage just disappeared, and I’ve been checking my email all day, every day. Hoping for any confirmation – may it be good news or not so good one.

I was hoping. I was against a fan of Jason Mraz, well, she got ahead since she posted sooner. And I honestly love her entries. BUT. I so wanted to tell her about me being a fan of Epik High…it might be the only chance I will get to see Epik High. Jason Mraz always comes here in the Philippines…*DEEP SIGH*

Then came yesterday. I doubt they’d be announcing winner this weekend – last chance would be on Monday. BUT I learned through a friend that there are already winners. I know the girl who won in Singapore, we have a common friend, and they finally told me she was already contacted. I’m happy for her: SHE’S AN EPIK HIGH FAN.

And I’m assuming, the Jason Mraz girl fan won. 

Yeah, it hurts. This was the same feeling I had when my Visa for Korea was denied. Damn. My reason for going to Korean with a friend last March was to celebrate BtoB’s first anniversary there…but yeah, declined. AND NOW not being able to see Epik High…just DAMN.

If people only knew the worries I got in me because I’m too f***ed up with work.

Still, I dunno…Imma be okay. Give it a week and ice cream and random shoe buying. YES. I’ll be fine maybe after August 25 and not opening my SNS account for 2 weeks. Yes…

Oh well, this song still made me smile, as always. The only uplifting song in Tablo’s Fever’s End album…just being positive against the bullshit happening. 


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sheotako, Born to Beat, B to B, btob, minhyuk, peniel, ilhoon, hyunsik, changsub, eunkwang, sungjae, rappers